Jon and I played the next installment of our on and off semi linked games of Empire of the Dead featuring the Ladies Royal Amateur Archaeological Society and the Sons of Anubis. The story as it revealed itself…..
“She got away again sir” said a hooded member of the Sons, the hood looked down and the feet shuffled nervously in the dirt.
The master of the Sons sighed and laid his newspaper and cigar aside and stared intently at the hood, trying to peer into the darkness. “This is the third time this week” he said. “Our branch is starting to look a bit amateurish within the chapter. Last week was that nasty business with those women at the church, Brother Anu is still nursing a nasty bruise he got from that odd women with the shovel, and now we can’t keep one of them locked up!”
The master stood and collected his large jackal mask from the attendant standing beside his chair. “Well I suppose we best go and get her” he said as he slide the mask over his head. “After all, we can’t end the universe without her heart on a stone.” The last remark sounded tinny from inside the large mask.
This particular game required the stalwart members of the Sons of Anubis to find the runaway sacrifice before the Ladies did and drag her off to the universe ending altar found in the heart of the caves. Also required was a number of green gemstones that were required to power altar to complete its mission. Why this stuff is left lying around is a total mystery. Complicating the matter further was that each of the gemstones was guarded by a fearsome monk that would teleport into the area as soon as the gem was touched and for good measure wandering monsters also inhabited the caves looking for a tasty morsel to break the boredom. Lastly having gathered the required gemstones and finally caught the wayward lass who was rather fond of her heart remaining in her body, the Brothers needed to defeat the keeper of the altar to gain access to its universe shattering powers. No one said this would be easy. Especially as the Ladies were doing their best to prevent it.
The two groups entered the caverns from opposite ends and proceeded post haste to collect as many of the gems as possible. The Sons encountered the first gem but getting it from the ferocious monk who was guarding it proved rather difficult. Eventually the burly monk was dispatched but not before two brothers went down to the large sword that he carried.
However at the other end of the cavern the Ladies quickly dispatched their first guardian with their trademark hail of gunfire. The loud booms echoing down the dank tunnels alerting the Sons of Anubis of the presence of their Nemesis.
This was followed in quick succession with Ladies dispatching the Dancing Monk and his Maracas of Power and collecting the second gem. It was looking grim for the Sons who had just lost a third member to a random wolf who was lurking behind a stalagmite before it ran off and was quickly turned into a rug by a Shotgun toting Lady, who had been approaching the Sons from down the other end of the same tunnel.
The Master of the Sons called for reinforcements at this point and a lone Son hurried down the tunnel towards his leader in a show of loyalty. Having briefly described the situation to his follower the Master of the Sons races down the tunnel looking for the other members who had disappeared around the corner, having spotted the escapee.
The lone Son failed dismally in keeping the ladies at bay, being quickly dispatched by one wearing a new wolf skin Stole. It was now a foot race to the next gem, the Sons and the Ladies both with two in their possession
Having outpaced the Ladies the Sons split off a member to deal with the wayward lass who was found hiding in the next cavern over. The last of the membership warily approach the cluster of stalagmites, unfortunately the flickering torchlight attracts the attention of a small but rather cranky yeti who had gotten lost earlier that week and was still looking for the way out.
Remarkably the division of labors paid dividends with the Yeti and the Monk quickly going down to the various blunt instruments carried by the Sons Of Anubis. Meanwhile in another section of the caves, the Ladies had uncovered another gem but for some reason this particular monk was proving troublesome.
Two ladies fainted of exhaustion and had to be escorted off the field of play before the Leader, who was proving to be a formidable swords-woman, finally finished off the large monk with his big chopper. Having collected 3 gems the Ladies realised that there was no way that they could prevent the Sons from collecting the 5 gems that they needed and quickly formulated a new plan. Ambush. The Ladies returned down the tunnel and waited for the Sons to appear and while the Sons were distracted with the altar and its guardian the Ladies would attempt to use their trademark superior firepower to deal with the Sons of Anubis.
The Sons split their efforts with one Son grabbing the escapee, the Master and the Scriver gathering the last three gems and the last two members heading off towards the altar in an effort to deal with its guardian.
Unfortunately for the two Sons who entered the Altar chamber the Ladies were expecting them. With with a blast from the shotgun one of the Sons was winged and went down, laboriously crawling to safety of the wall, out of sight of the devilish woman and her fiendish shotgun.
At this point the Master of the Sons, realising that they had two of the three components required to end the universe, decided that discretion was the better part of valor and beat a hasty retreat back to their lair.
“You’ve not seen the last of us,” the master shrieked at the Ladies, shaking his fist in rage. “We’ve got the girl and the Gems, we can come back any time to finish this” Gales of maniacal laughter faded into the distance as the Sons of Anubis disappeared back down the dark tunnels. The Ladies realised that their next move must be an attempt to rescue the sacrifice victim from the Sons.
Once again Empire of the Dead provided an extremely fun game. The howls of laughter at the inept antics of the Sons of Anubis and their constant attempt to end the universe for their master were loud to say the least. It seems that we have stumbled onto a narrative and will pursue it to it ridiculous end. Stay tuned for more from the Ladies Royal Amateur Archaeologists Society and the Sons of Anubis…
Journeys of the Absurd - Leiths' Hobby experiences 